


Hollow Victories

by GreySkyye



Series: Unrelated Challenge Fics of Doom [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Fingering, Hate Sex, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:31:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreySkyye/pseuds/GreySkyye
Summary: It should have just been another contest; all he wanted was to finally beat Ushijima. It wasn't supposed to end up like this.It wasn't supposed to leave his own chest feeling so hollowed out every time.





	Hollow Victories

Tooru isn’t usually in the habit of lying to himself; Ushijima has always been the exception to that rule. He tells himself he could quit, give up this broken thing that started out as a twisted need to punish himself and became an addiction if Ushijima’s fingers weren’t so goddamned  _thick_. The way he shamelessly spreads his legs wider, wordlessly begging for those fingers inside would seem to support that. Tooru bites his lip and looks at Ushijima through his eyelashes in a way he knows is enticing because he practiced it in the mirror until it was perfect and lets himself believe that bullshit every addict sells themselves about being able to quit at any time.

Taking Tooru’s cue, Ushijima twists two of those stupid, incredible,  _huge_  fingers inside him without warning, just enough lube slicked over them to make entry physically possible, but not quite comfortable. It’s an amount his perfectionist nature had decided was Tooru’s favorite without ever consulting him based on experimenting and cataloging Tooru’s reactions. Like everything Ushijima, Tooru finds it one part creepy, one part ridiculous, a thousand parts infuriating, and one part reluctantly endearing.

A desperate, wounded noise breaks free of Tooru’s lips and he throws his head back to better release it into the oppressive heat of the evening, letting his entire body bend into a bow with the need to surrender himself entirely to pleasure. The tile walls amplify the sound and bounce it back at him so that he feels wild and wanton in a way he knows he should find shameful but instead finds powerful. God it’s so good, always so  _good_  with him, and it’s so fucked up and so unfair. But his own slender fingers never feel the same no matter how many he stuffs inside himself, how he angles and wriggles them, or how roughly he treats himself. It’s a craving that goes so deep now that even with the way he’s currently being filled, it’s still not enough. He rolls his hips against Ushijima’s hand looking for deeper, or harder, or anything really - just  _more_.

With his free hand, Ushijima stills Tooru’s movements, clamping down on his hip. He angles his body so that he’s leaning more over Tooru, his weight helping pin the body beneath his.

The casual strength Ushijima wields restraining someone as athletic as Tooru, with such minimal effort, burns through Tooru’s awareness and leaves him breathless with want. He grabs a handful of Ushijima’s flexing bicep to pull himself back up from his capitulating arch in order to glare viciously at him. “You bastard.” The rest of his tirade is choked off by a startled moan when Ushijima curls his fingers in that way Tooru’s tried a hundred times to replicate with no success. Wave after wave of ecstasy and need buffet his overheated body and he can’t do anything but cling to Ushijima like an anchor and keen for several heartbeats.

Ushijima’s expression never changes, face still as blank as always, but they’ve been doing this long enough that Tooru knows he’s pleased by the reaction anyway. It makes Tooru furious. It makes his dick twitch and spit even more fluid on his already slick abs. He digs the fingers he already has on Ushijima into his muscle,  _hard_ , and shoots his other hand up to grab a fistful of Ushijima’s hair and yank his head forward. “Stop teasing and give me  _more_ ,” he grits out between clenched teeth, like he has any sort of control over what’s going on here. His shirt’s pushed up under his armpits, his shorts and underwear are barely clinging to one ankle, and he’s sprawled over a bench in the empty locker room, covered in a sheen of sweat that’s not entirely from playing, while Ushijima hasn’t removed a stitch of clothing. Tooru’s spread out for Ushijima’s pleasure, entirely at his mercy, to be consumed whole at his leisure. He can snap and scratch and threaten all he wants but none of it is going to make Ushijima give Tooru a thing he doesn’t want to. He’s as helpless when he faces him here as he is on the court. It’s as blisteringly hot as it is terrifying.

Something heated and feral flares in Ushijima’s eyes for just a second. “All you had to do was ask,” he intones, deadly serious, no hint of playfulness at all. Then he’s pushing another of his big, shudder-inducing fingers past the feeble resistance of Tooru’s entrance alongside the other two.

Bright bursts of light behind Tooru’s eyelids accompany the explosion of pleasure that rumbles through his entire body. He lets it sweep through him in a devastating tsunami; as dangerous as that is it feels safer than thinking about Ushijima’s words. He doesn’t want to think about how Ushijima gives it to him like this, rough and demanding, only when Tooru asks for it that way. How he’d simply sunk to his knees every time Tooru told him to blow him or lick him open, thinking he’d use it to gain the upper hand or humiliate him. How he’s soft, almost tender with Tooru when Tooru’s feeling too spiteful and self-loathing to demand anything else. How those occasional bouts of sweetness ruin him more than any hard fucking ever could.

Tooru whines high and breathy and begs for another finger. He wants to drown in the feeling of being stretched and filled rather than think about how all he ever has to do is ask. Here, like this, in these stolen moments of weakness, he asks and Ushijima gives without question. He won’t let himself think about how that’s broken both of them. He’d thought this would be another way to compete with Ushijima - something he’d obviously be better at and finally  _win_ , finally rid himself of the haunting inadequacy Ushijima inspired. Now he knows he’s beaten Ushijima down, fostered a dependency pitiful enough to rival his own.

Tooru would crow with victory if his own chest didn’t feel so cracked open and scooped out, making it all feel hollow.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a challenge I issued to myself to try and shake me out of a writing funk. If anyone wants to know what the "rules" I gave myself were: I used a random word generator for the prompt and a number generator to come up with the pairing (I have made a list of others so look out this may become a series of challenge works). This prompt was "thick" by the way. But the other 2 rules were I had to use the first idea I came up with and I could only work on this for one sitting other than editing.


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